Category Archives: Movies

In which Liz tells Frank about klassic kinema.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY: Liz Tells Frank Live Ep. 3

Dear Frank,

How I wish I could say that, in our most recent live adventure, I told you everything that was bonkers dumb about the publishing phenomenon/blockbuster/BDSM misrepresentation “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Because oh god, there is SO MUCH to tell you about! But I did tell you a LOT about it, most importantly the complete backstory about this story’s roots and what it means for fan culture.

YouTube version:

And audio-only, available via iTunes or below!

This presentation includes swears, dancing vampires, “Saturday Night Live” sketches and (unlike the actual film) the notorious tampon scene. Thank you, Frank, for letting it happen. And thanks to everyone who helped make it possible!

Do you want to be cool like them? Well, the next Liz Tells Frank: Live is COMING SOON. Get ready for March. Get ready for something we genuinely love.

Love,
Liz

PS: Please don’t forget that our dear friend John told us in detail about the books a couple of years ago. Our struggle is real, and ongoing. Forever thanks to John.

SUCKER PUNCH: Liz Tells Frank Live Ep. 2

Dear Frank,

‘Twas a temperate November evening last year that brought you, I and a wonderful live studio audience together so that the mysteries and layers of Zack Snyder’s “Sucker Punch” could be peeled back.

What did we learn about? Oh, just multiple realities, multiple attempted rape and some of the stupidest character names ever. It was a magical evening, and now those who weren’t there can get a taste of the magic, thanks to YouTube and podcasts!

Video here:

And audio-only version available via iTunes (eventually) or below (right now)!

Huge thanks to our fabulous studio audience, Andrew Deutsch and the fine folk of Nerdstrong in North Hollywood for hosting, official bell-masters Aimee and Toni, live-tweeter Margaret Dunlap and Barrett Garese and Laurel Vail for additional production assistance. Plus, a very very special thanks to introducer and producer David Nett!

Do you want to be cool like them? Well, the next Liz Tells Frank: Live is COMING RIGHT THE HELL UP. Specifically, January 23 in North Hollywood. Even more specifically: “50 Shades of Grey.” Details and (free!) tickets here. (Inner goddess, save me.)

Love,
Liz

Jeff Tells Liz What Happened in “Winter’s Tale”

Dear Liz,

Yes, I know it's not a true story, because it's not a documentary.

Yes, I know it’s not a true story, because it’s not a documentary.

If you’re anything like me, you remember seeing the ads for Winter’s Tale and thinking, “So, Colin Farrell is in love with that girl from Downton Abbey, but then he gets reincarnated in modern day New York? Or something?” The ads certainly suggested romance, and then some vaguely supernatural buggery-boo, but mostly they made no damn sense, and the film only grossed $30 million worldwide on a $60 million budget.

Why were the ads so cagey? This is a romance that opened on Valentine’s Day — why not give us some indication of why Farrell winds up in present day New York, or what Russell Crowe is doing in the movie at all? Could it be that the studio simply wanted to indicate sweeping romance while hiding the fact that this movie is BUGFUCK INSANE??? Liz, this film is so crazy that I started taking notes about 1/3 of the way through because I knew I had to tell you about it. And now I will. [Oh, thank god. –Liz]

Read the rest of this entry

Liz Tells Frank “Sucker Punch” LIVE: Coming Soon!

Dear Frank,

Where are you gonna be Friday, November 14th? Same place I’m gonna be — in a world of pain.

LTF Sucker Punch poster_edited

It’s happening. It’s in North Hollywood. It’s open to the public. It’s Sucker Punch, easily one of the dumbest movies ever, and thus ripe for the Liz Tells Frank Live treatment.

Info available here on Eventbrite or on Facebook. Made possible by the wonderful gentlemen of Nrdfit.

Like the Sucker Punch trailer promises, Frank — you will not be prepared.

Love,
Liz

Liz Tells Frank What Happened In “Snowpiercer”

Dear Frank,

snowpiercer_posterI have missed you! I have missed this humble blog! And I have also missed watching movies that just cry out for your attention! But I can address these issues to some degree this evening! It’s all thanks to Snowpiercer.

This movie is the best sort of bonkers, Frank. Directed by Bong Joon-ho, a Korean director who also made the really delightful The Host (starring Doona Bae from Cloud Atlas!), it’s pretty easy to distill to its core plotline: It’s the apocalypse and every human still alive now lives on a train.

However, Snowpiecer is also so much more than that. What happens in it? Oh, so much stuff. SO MUCH STUFF. I really don’t want to spoil it for you. But there are a few things YOU NEED TO KNOW. Read the rest of this entry

Liz Tells Frank What Happened In “After Earth”

Dear Frank,

after earth posterAs I write this, let me tell you — I’m not feeling great. Some sort of head/chest congestion thing. It’s way better today than it was on Sunday, thanks to the joys of modern medicine, but it also means that I write this now after having just taken my second dose of DayQuil of the day, and I’m gonna tell you, I feel a little bit loopy.

Which is probably the best possible place from which to approach After Earth.

Yes, Frank, technically I know what I’m getting into. I know this movie is not good. But I need to know JUST HOW BAD.

Because here’s the thing — the question I pose today isn’t “is After Earth a terrible film?” but rather “is After Earth WORSE than Battlefield Earth?” It’s time for the Scientology Metaphor Movie Showdown! Read the rest of this entry

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