Category Archives: TV
In which Liz tells Frank about TV episodes or entire shows he’s missed.
The other day, as I looked through my media collection, I was reminded of how many kinda stupid things I kinda totally love. Like, the 2002 Jennifer Lopez movie Enough, where Billy Campbell beats the shit out of Jennifer Lopez until she says ENOUGH! It’s through-and-through Lifetime crap, but I have seen it at least a half dozen times, the guilt tearing at me inside.
There’s so much other stuff I haven’t seen, Frank! And good stuff, too! The Internet won’t stop yelling about True Detective, but I’m rewatching a movie that contains lines of dialogue like “You have a divine animal right to protect your life and the life of your offspring.” STOP ME, FRANK. HELP ME SAY ENOUGH WITH ENOUGH.
I bring up stupid things I love apologetically to provide a contrast to stupid things I love unapologetically. Like, for example, the TNT original film series The Librarian: [Let's Go Looking For Insert Precious Relic Here], which (it was recently announced) will soon become fodder for an upcoming TV show! Holy shit, Frank! Is it fucking CHRISTMAS? Read the rest of this entry
It’s funny, to remember the year 1993, and the minor civil war that broke out between television-loving nerds: Specifically, the rift between those who chose to watch the premiere of Lois and Clark at 8 PM Sunday nights on ABC, and those who chose to watch SeaQuest DSV during the same time slot on NBC. Funny, because it’s a battle now made irrelevant by DVRs, and funny, because I’m pretty sure neither show was actually very good.
I know you were a Lois and Clark person, Frank, because of your deeply held Superman alligence, but I definitely fell on the SeaQuest side of things, for reasons that we’ll get into over the course of this retelling. However, it has been close to 20 years since I’ve seen an episode of this show, and I suspect that it doesn’t hold up. Let’s find out!
This thing opens with what I think is an old speech by John F. Kennedy and some stock footage of whales and dolphins, which, yay. How to win a pre-teen Liz’s heart, right off the bat? Motherfucking WHALES AND DOLPHINS. When I was a kid, I either wanted to be a marine biologist or a writer, and the major reason I went down the latter path is that I suck at doing actual science. Read the rest of this entry
Tonight’s viewing of The Following‘s pilot comes by reader request, and even though she immediately regretted making that request, I remain a slave to our loyal readers. It’s only 44 minutes long, Frank! How bad could it be?
Sigh. Time for gross serial killer drama seen fit to be aired on a major broadcast network!
Normally, I guard the honor of telling of you stuff as sacred. But after John Ross recommended a most bloodthirsty selection of “Christmas” movies yesterday, I figured we could all use an antidote. So here’s our good friend Jesse Vigil — with a different approach!
I grew up Catholic and was educated by Catholics for 13 years, so naturally I am really good at swearing and having not the best relationship with faith. I am also a little Grinchy about Christmas, especially when it comes to starting the “season” prior to December 1st.
You might know me as a person who does not always have great taste in film. I do, for example, believe Michael Bay is an important artist whose dadaist celebration of the meaninglessness of “plot” has yet to be properly recognized. But I have a dark secret, Frank. Because I have seen over two dozen cable Christmas movies.
And no, we’re not talking about the classics. No White Christmas. No It’s a Wonderful Life. Not even Die Hard or Batman Returns. I’m talking about the factory-churned slew of contemporary Christmas movies that rose to prominence on Lifetime and then spread like cancer to ABC Family and even a thing I didn’t know existed: The Hallmark Channel.
I have relatives, Frank, and they watch a lot of these movies. I also stay up late, Frank, so I’ve seen more of them than my wife, whom the Sandman loves more than me. Last holiday I started live-tweeting the most outrageous discoveries I made about this whole genre of films and was asked by our mutual friend Liz to share my discoveries with you. So here are the Five Things You Need To Know About Cable Christmas Movies: Read the rest of this entry
I should probably back up a little.
Whenever I’ve fallen deeply for a show, Frank, I’ve often been compelled to track down other media featuring the actors in question. It is why I have seen no shortage of very strange British dramas featuring Doctor Who cast members, the David Duchovny “comedy” Evolution, and at least one episode of the show Eureka, because of the lady who did the voice for Elisa Maza on Gargoyles.
Still, it’s always really weird, isn’t it? I mean, we accept no shortage of movie stars in no shortage of various roles, but when you closely identify an actor with a part — there is no getting around it. Especially when said actor has a history of investigating serial killers! So that’s why, for the duration of this post, I will be referring to Gillian Anderson as Scully. Sorry, girl. Blonde hair or not, The X-Files is forever.
You want it, baby? You got it.
That’s right, it’s a semi-comprehensive, totally subjective guide to 21 television shows of the past two decades, filled with recommendations as to which episodes to skip and which episodes to watch!
What new shows get covered? Oh, how about Alias, Battlestar Galactica, Buffy the Vampire Slayer AND Angel, Dollhouse, Friday Night Lights, Fringe, How I Met Your Mother, Lost, New Girl, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, The West Wing and The X-Files? How about THAT.
Plus, there are a few other surprises — like the Doctor Who guide getting updated through 2013! It’s a good time, especially thanks to Whitney Bishop and Andreanna Ditton’s Star Trek: Voyager and Farscape entries, and a foreword written by Farscape executive producer Richard Manning! Ricky helped make Star Trek, Frank!
The Skip It/Watch It Guides are now available exclusively on Amazon for $3.99. I very much hope you enjoy.