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Liz Tells Frank What Happened In Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne
Dear Frank,
I used to be a big comics fan, buying new issues of certain series monthly and borrowing the rest from friends, with whom I would debate the latest DC and Marvel developments. I did this not as a teenager, but throughout my mid-20s, because that’s how much of a late bloomer totally awesome I was.
I still like the medium, still like a good superhero story, still think Batman is totally boneable — alas, it’s been several years since I was reading regularly. However, a month or so ago, my friend Rudy recommended the graphic novel The Return of Bruce Wayne to listeners of our podcast, and as I love time travel and Batman, I requested and received a copy of the trade paperback for Christmas.
The reason for me wanting to read it was two-fold — one, FUCK YEAH BATMAN TRAVELLING THROUGH TIME. Two, I kinda wanted to see if it’d be at all possible for me, a casual reader, to hop into a modern day comic adventure and understand what the hell was going on. Read the rest of this entry
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Liz Tells Frank What Happened In NBC’s Unaired Wonder Woman Pilot
Dear Frank,
Fan poster by ALilZeker on DeviantArt.
We gather together today to mock the pretty much dead pilot for David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman, but let me be honest with you — I feel a little guilty about doing so. And not because I acquired it from “a friend” (ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies), but because making fun of something that has ultimately failed and will never officially see the light of day feels unfair. Nothing I will say in this post could possibly sting as much as the fact that NBC declined to pick this show up. Except, perhaps, for this observation: GOOD PLAN, NETWORK.
We open on a nice young black man discovering that he’s going to college — and then abruptly collapsing from a whole bleeding-out-his-eyes-and-ears thing. Yikes! And then we get down to business; specifically, Wonder Woman chasing a bad guy down Hollywood Boulevard. Action action action running! The guy is “superhuman,” a news reporter V.O. tells us, but so is Wonder Woman, and she also has a magic lasso to nab him with.
The cops come just as she’s plunged a syringe into Running Guy’s neck to draw some blood, and while she gets pissy about how Running Guy will lawyer up, she lets them take him into custody and then flies off in her flying jet. Like you do. Points so far for Tyra Colette Adrianne Palicki’s portrayal — while a bit pouty, she sure isn’t afraid of pushing the bad-ass angle.
Once Wonder Woman returns to the headquarters of Themyscira Industries (her own personal multi-national organization), we get the full scoop on The Many Lives of Wonder Woman. Read the rest of this entry
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Liz Tells Frank What Happened In Batman and Robin
Dear Frank,
So as you know, I’m a very big fan of performance artist Lady Gaga, primarily because in the world of pop music, she’s the rare person unafraid to truly experiment. Like, I know there are plenty of people giving her shit over coming to the Grammys last night ensconced inside a translucent egg, but frankly I kinda loved it. Especially because she also came on stage inside said egg, basically making the red carpet a dramatic lead-up to her onstage performance, which is such a bold and interesting way of approaching the conceit of an awards show! Lady Gaga is so great.
Why am I talking about Lady Gaga, Frank, when (as the subject of this post clearly states) I am here to tell you what happens in the 1997 film Batman and Robin? Here’s the deal. We all know this is a terrible movie (Akiva Goldsman, even Fringe being awesome doesn’t mean I forgive you). But while other cinematic disasters I’ve told you about were failures because of a lack of talent or inspiration, that’s not where Batman and Robin falls apart. Batman and Robin is fucking terrible, but it’s fucking terrible because it was a bold attempt at capturing a certain spirit in film format — specifically, being a live-action comic book.
The primary problem, of course, is that the people involved have this completely childish idea of what comic books are — probably because the last time they read a piece of sequential art, they were actually children — and the entire movie is a fucking mess. But there is a part of me that admires the amount of risk taken here, the flat-out balls of trying something new with what was previously such a profitable franchise. The visual extravagance of this film alone could inspire an entire concert’s worth of Lady Gaga ensembles. In short: This is probably why I am not in charge of a major motion picture studio, but there is a part of me that would rather Hollywood make five flat-out insane Batman and Robins than one generic and blah Transformers.
Thus ends my defense of Batman and Robin. Let’s begin making fun of it, shall we? Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In Uncanny X-Men: “Days of Future Past”
Dear Frank,
Whoof! We’ve had a rough two weeks, haven’t we, between cross-dressing weirdos and John Travolta… Wait, no — I’ve had a rough two weeks, because I had to watch the damn movies. You’ve gotten off pretty light.
Which is why I want to take it relatively easy this time, focus on something non-painful, print-based and fun. In short, I wanna read a comic book, and as you’ve never read the classic Uncanny X-Men storyline “Days of Future Past,” well, there we go!
The catch, of course, is that this is a comic written initially in 1980. As you know, Frank, I consider myself a pretty big fan of the comic book medium, but while I enjoy superheroes as much as the next girl, most comics prior to the modern era of writers and artists have always struck me as a bit silly. The trade paperback I found Uncanny X-Men #141-142 in, for example, includes some other issues surrounding the classic storyline, and, look, I don’t want to make too much fun of old-school comics, because I know how many people still have fond memories, but, lemme just show you this… Read the rest of this entry
