About a year or so ago, you may recall, I told you about the John Carter
of Mars trailer, because (like many things I tell you about here) I thought it was pretty stupid. But for some reason I was cautiously optimistic about the film itself, based entirely on the fact that writer/director Andrew Stanton had made some pretty good movies already, and he seemed likely to keep a good thing going — especially because he was such a passionate fanboy about the source material.
Then, of course, the movie actually came out, and the reaction was literally mixed — to the point where I couldn’t really get excited. It has taken me WEEKS, Frank, to get through this movie and figure out what the hell it was about, and I wish I could tell you why that was the case. It just boggled me, you know? Boggled.
First realization, as I sit down to watch: It feels like it’s been a long long time since I’ve seen a movie with only one company in the pre-title sequence. Like, everything has like at least two production companies behind it these days — five, if you’re from Europe. But Disney’s the only company behind this movie. Which explains why they took such a bath on it. Read the rest of this entry
You didn’t come see Real Steel with us on Sunday night, which I feel sad about because Real Steel, Frank? Was totally awesome. However, it was preceded by something perhaps a little less awesome — the trailer for John Carter
of Mars — and Frank, I think we need to talk about it a bit.
You see, I have seen this trailer many, many times now, but it was this most recent viewing that finally cemented my firm opinion that this trailer is not a good trailer, and is perhaps an actively terrible one. Here it is, for your reference:
I freely admit that I have no familiarity with the source material, as my childhood was spent reading Bradbury obsessively, and while I know he read Burroughs obsessively when he was a child I never bothered to close the loop. So the thing I have to apologize for is this — Frank, today I have failed you. For officially, I’m here to tell you what happens in this trailer, but even though I have seen this trailer many times, I have no idea what is happening in it. Read the rest of this entry