Category Archives: All the Spoilers
Hello! This installment was originally written for the first volume of “Liz Tells Frank What Happened In…: The Book.” But as that was published in 2012, it feels like it’s been long enough to warrant resurfacing. (Does it warrant actually covering seasons past Season 7 in the future? That’s a mystery not even BONES could solve.)
As you remember, in 2006 the first thing I ever told you about was an episode of the now-long-running crime drama Bones — in fact, I told you about a large percentage of the first season of Bones, because you asked nice.
But at the end of the first season, I became convinced that the show was too wary of the Moonlighting curse (AKA “They can’t get together — it’ll ruin the show!”), and stopped watching it. I did, however, pledge to pick it up once again if its main characters started banging: Since that day, the people I appointed to tell me if I should re-add it to my DVR never alerted me to a change in this circumstance. So today I delve into the bowels of Wikipedia summaries and episode guides, to see what we’ve missed since I stopped telling you what happened.
To remind you, Frank, Bones is about a forensic anthropologist (nicknamed Bones) who, with her team of lab techs, helps solve gross murder crimes with Angel from Angel (nicknamed Beau in my original retellings, because apparently that’s David Boreanez’s real nickname and it made me laugh).
To make things easier, let’s take this season by season, starting with Season 2, where these appear to be the big things that happened: Read the rest of this entry
We’ve been through some dark times in our recent live adventures. But now, let’s spend some time in the light. (Ironically, we’ll be doing so by talking about nocturnal fictional creatures, but whatevs.)
“Gargoyles”! One of the world’s most beloved shows, as decided universally by Liz Millers aged 13. Mythology! Shakespeare references! A profoundly engaging and weird Will They or Won’t They! It’s nigh impossible to capture all of the crazy that Disney, for some reason, let air for two glorious seasons on weekday afternoons. I just know it was the best thing to ever happen to me, and in the below podcast, I do my best to explain why.
Check out the YouTube video here:
Special thanks to producer David Nett, Nerdstrong Gym for hosting, live-tweeter Kim, our bell-master, guest introducer Casey Schreiner, the live studio audience for attending, and as always, you for listening!
Okay, have you watched The Comeback? Because if you haven’t then you really should. People are saying it’s meta and I’m not sure what that means but it sounds cool and for some reason, it reminds me of the Transformers although I’m not entirely sure why. Anyway, The Comeback is the best and Lisa Kudrow should win all the awards forever and ever and when I say all the awards, I mean all of them. Emmys, Oscars, Tonys, Grammys, golf trophies, bowling trophies. She’s just that good.
Lisa Kudrow plays Valerie Cherish, a washed up actress whose claim to fame was being in show called, I’m It a long, long time ago and her career stalled. The Comeback first aired in 2005, thirteen months after the finale of that other show she did about the six friends who drank a lot of coffee. I don’t know, I didn’t watch it…more than five times in a row. Although, it is kinda, maybe, sorta weird because looking at Lisa Kudrow’s Wikipedia page between the end of that coffee shop friendship show and The Comeback, there isn’t anything really. So I guess in Hollywood speak, her career wasn’t going well.
Anyway, back in 2005, Valerie Cherish is a struggling actress who lands on a show called, “Room and Bored” where she plays Aunt Sassy whose tagline is, “note to self: I don’t wanna see that.” And she also wears an ugly track suit. Room and Bored reminds me of Three’s Company meets first season of “Facts of Life” meets “Too Close for Comfort“…meets just not good television. Read the rest of this entry
‘Twas a temperate November evening last year that brought you, I and a wonderful live studio audience together so that the mysteries and layers of Zack Snyder’s “Sucker Punch” could be peeled back.
What did we learn about? Oh, just multiple realities, multiple attempted rape and some of the stupidest character names ever. It was a magical evening, and now those who weren’t there can get a taste of the magic, thanks to YouTube and podcasts!
And audio-only version available via iTunes (eventually) or below (right now)!
Huge thanks to our fabulous studio audience, Andrew Deutsch and the fine folk of Nerdstrong in North Hollywood for hosting, official bell-masters Aimee and Toni, live-tweeter Margaret Dunlap and Barrett Garese and Laurel Vail for additional production assistance. Plus, a very very special thanks to introducer and producer David Nett!
Do you want to be cool like them? Well, the next Liz Tells Frank: Live is COMING RIGHT THE HELL UP. Specifically, January 23 in North Hollywood. Even more specifically: “50 Shades of Grey.” Details and (free!) tickets here. (Inner goddess, save me.)
In the city of Nashville, it is really easy to become a superstar singer. You just need to go there and then get a job singing — and you will immediately get a contract. That actually may not be true in the real life Nashville but in the television version it is. They have everything: illegitimate children, drugs, alcohol…it’s like they have a list and it’s all set to country music and also everyone is ridiculously attractive in Nashville, because they just are and that’s just what happens.
We’re talking about the show Nashville on ABC, just to be clear. Read the rest of this entry
If you’re anything like me, you remember seeing the ads for Winter’s Tale and thinking, “So, Colin Farrell is in love with that girl from Downton Abbey, but then he gets reincarnated in modern day New York? Or something?” The ads certainly suggested romance, and then some vaguely supernatural buggery-boo, but mostly they made no damn sense, and the film only grossed $30 million worldwide on a $60 million budget.
Why were the ads so cagey? This is a romance that opened on Valentine’s Day — why not give us some indication of why Farrell winds up in present day New York, or what Russell Crowe is doing in the movie at all? Could it be that the studio simply wanted to indicate sweeping romance while hiding the fact that this movie is BUGFUCK INSANE??? Liz, this film is so crazy that I started taking notes about 1/3 of the way through because I knew I had to tell you about it. And now I will. [Oh, thank god. –Liz]