Hello! This installment was originally written for the first volume of “Liz Tells Frank What Happened In…: The Book.” But as that was published in 2012, it feels like it’s been long enough to warrant resurfacing. (Does it warrant actually covering seasons past Season 7 in the future? That’s a mystery not even BONES could solve.)

Dear Frank,

As you remember, in 2006 the first thing I ever told you about was an episode of the now-long-running crime drama Bones — in fact, I told you about a large percentage of the first season of Bones, because you asked nice.

But at the end of the first season, I became convinced that the show was too wary of the Moonlighting curse (AKA “They can’t get together — it’ll ruin the show!”), and stopped watching it. I did, however, pledge to pick it up once again if its main characters started banging: Since that day, the people I appointed to tell me if I should re-add it to my DVR never alerted me to a change in this circumstance. So today I delve into the bowels of Wikipedia summaries and episode guides, to see what we’ve missed since I stopped telling you what happened.

To remind you, Frank, Bones is about a forensic anthropologist (nicknamed Bones) who, with her team of lab techs, helps solve gross murder crimes with Angel from Angel (nicknamed Beau in my original retellings, because apparently that’s David Boreanez’s real nickname and it made me laugh).

To make things easier, let’s take this season by season, starting with Season 2, where these appear to be the big things that happened: Read the rest of this entry →