Dear Frank,

There are times when I am well-versed in the media we’re discussing when I sit down to watch it, and times when I am not. This is the latter. Here is literally all I know about this movie: It is called Zardoz, and Sean Connery is in it, and I think it was made in the 70s. I have NO IDEA what is about to happen to me, and to be completely honest I’m a little nervous.

And okay, I just paused a minute in because WHAT THE FUCK. I think I’m going to be saying that a lot, based on this first minute. Some disembodied head wearing a towel is saying that his name is Zardoz and he’s a fake god and this movie might take place in “a possible future.” Was this the first movie ever made that took place in the future, and the filmmakers were nervous that no one would understand that it took place in the future and so they slapped this bit onto the beginning? ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION.

THERE’S A MUSTACHE AND GOATEE DRAWN ON THIS GUY’S FACE. I REALLY DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON. Read the rest of this entry →