Dear Frank,

So I have been trying like crazy to get in the Christmas spirit, and that’s meant watching a lot of holiday specials and so forth. Thus, I attempt to retreat to a pure state of childhood, by watching a Muppets Christmas adventure that neither you or I have seen before — in fact, I had never heard of it until a week ago. Turns out, though, that the 1977 TV special Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas is beloved by many, so that is what you are getting told about today.

First off: I borrowed my friend Mike‘s tape of this to watch, and VHS is weird, man. It’s been so long since I used the remote for the VCR that the batteries had exploded, and I had to use it because the alternative is watching commercials for Columbia children’s classics from the 1990s. We’re talking direct-to-video sequels to The Swan Princess here.

But then, Emmet Otter finally begins and OHMIGOD I LOVE KERMIT THE FROG SO MUCH! SO FREAKING MUCH. He’s just riding around on his bike and saying “Hi ho!” to us and I’m grinning so big…

Oh no! Some assholes called the Riverbottom Gang just drove by and stole Kermit’s scarf! ASSHOLES. Read the rest of this entry →