Dear Frank,

For a while now, I’ve been hearing that I should check out Lost Girl, a Canadian fantasy import featuring sexy people, makeouts and magic. I normally am not a straight-up fantasy fan (due to the lack of space battles) but the voices called out, Frank. They demanded that you know about Lost Girl. And who am I to deny them?

Thus, fade in on a girl– Ugh, Frank, I’ve been watching too much Smash. Point is, meet Bo! She is a bartender, and she is hot, and while working she manages to dodge a creep who tries to force a roofied drink on her.

However, said creep then targets a sassy pickpocketing teen at the bar, cornering her in an elevator just as the roofie kicks in. Uh oh! Things do not look good for our sassy pickpocketing teen!

Until, of course, Bo shows up! And it turns out, she has a superpower — or, rather, the ability to kill people with a kiss, sucking the energy out of them. (The key word there, it turns out, will be “suck.”)

The blue stuff is not bad breath, in case things weren’t clear.

Bo kills the guy, then ends up bringing Sassy Pickpocketing Teen (okay, her name is Kenzi) to her “shabby chic” squatter’s den. It’s hard to keep a steady existence going if you’re constantly killing duders with your makeouts, so Bo’s ready to blow town and avoid murder charges — then Kenzi reveals she took a video of Bo’s kill the night before, and Bo realizes she’s gonna have to have a conversation with the kid.

Over milkshakes, Bo admits to Kenzi that she doesn’t really know exactly what the fuck she is, but her kiss is bad news bears. Oh, she also has the ability to skip out on milkshake checks with just a seductive touch, which she uses on ladies and dudes alike, because it is the 21st century and all that.

Kenzi goes from being scared of Bo to being totally into the idea of helping her use these superpowers for fun and/or profit, but their negotiations are rudely interrupted!

See, Frank, the guy Bo killed? The cops found him. But in a fun twist, the cops who find Mr. Smiley? Totally in on all this whole weird supernatural thing, saying things about “humans” like they’re not human.

If there’s not a single Joker joke in this pilot, I’ll be very disappointed.
(Spoiler alert: I will be very disappointed.)

The magic cops (one wears a hat, and one does not) just so happen to walk by Bo and Kenzi on the street while in the midst of that conversation I mentioned before — they sniff her out or something, figure out who she is, and then use their magic powers to nab her. It is EXTREMELY CONVENIENT, that this happens, but I’m just gonna go with it.

The magic cops take Bo away to some secret lair, and then there’s a scene where a bunch of magic people show up and snarl at each other about Bo — in the Magic Non-Hat-Wearing Detective’s case, literally.

Check out Mr. Grumpypants over here.

They take her away to be examined by a sexy lady doctor — she and Bo do some sexy flirting before the sexy lady doctor reveals that Bo is a succubus — see, Frank, I told you the word suck would be important!

Finally, this Fancy Fae Lady explains to Bo that she’s weird, because every Fae belongs to one of two sides and Bo needs to pick one. I do like Fancy Fae Lady’s pitch on joining up: “We take care of our own. We place you in a human occupation that is to our advantage, help with the disposal of your kills, etc. etc. Oh, and dental.”

Before Bo can join up, though, she has to pass a test, which means fighting a bunch of guys. Magic-Non-Hat-Wearing Detective, though, is a gentleman, and lets her “take some of his strength” first, which means SUPER-SEXY MAKEOUTS. Because he’s a Fae, he’s able to stop her from killing him, so that works out pretty well.

Fight fight fight! Bo kills the first giant duder with knives, then the second duder whisks her into some magic fairyland to kill her with trickery — specifically, a really mean guilt trip about all the folks she’s killed by making out with them.

Because this is the pilot, Frank, do not be surprised by the fact that she survives said guilt trip — she’s rescued by Kenzi, who’s tracked her down to the warehouse where the thing is happening.

I am not talking enough about Kenzi, but as far as plucky young sidekicks go, I find her pretty charming. Her commitment to stealing shit is especially enjoyable.

I guess Kenzi’s rescue doesn’t count as cheating, because Bo passes the test. However, instead of choosing a side she decides to remain independent, pledging herself to “humans!” (I guess Bo isn’t too concerned about cavities.)

This means that the leaders of both sides of the Fae (referred to as dark and light, though I’m honestly not sure which leader represents which side, because I guess it doesn’t matter too much?) want Bo dead.

But another elder, the Peter Dinklage of Canada (he is very very short, but also very dignified and a decent actor), advises that instead of killing her, they keep an eye on her in order to figure out how exactly she remained hidden from them so long.

Stepping up to keep a pretty close eye on Bo? Magic-Non-Hat-Wearing Detective! He’s the kind of cute where it grows on you, just for the record.

At the very least, he’s a lot better looking when he doesn’t have werewolf face.

And thus Bo is turned loose on the streets with Kenzi, who’s now officially Bo’s plucky sidekick, and the pilot ends with much promise of future sexy makeouts and mysteries!

Frank, as we’ve established, I have a weakness for things that pass the Bechdel Test and Canadian television, but those who recommended this show were not wrong to do so!

How do I know this? Well, Frank, as soon as I finished the pilot I started writing this. But I didn’t stop watching the show, and I am now on Episode 3.

So far so good, Frank. So far, so good.

Love,
Liz