“Star Trek: Voyager” Season 4: The Skip It/Watch It Guide
She! Cannot! Be! Stopped! Once again, Whitney Bishop is venturing into dark terrain — albeit dark terrain featuring a sexy Borg lady. Time now for Season 4 of “Voyager”! –Liz
I have a terrible confession to make. I didn’t like Seven of Nine.
She first appeared on the show when I was sixteen years old, and I felt she was about the worst thing Voyager had going for it. One of the reasons was, I will admit now, semi-petty: she was pretty, but she wasn’t just pretty, she was Space Magic Barbie, who had been dressed not only in a tight suit, but in a tight suit specifically made to corset her as prominently possible — and made absolutely no practical sense, to boot. Like, I understand how a plain bodysuit is a reasonably unfrivolous outfit, but really if they’d rescued a boy Borg instead, do you think they would’ve put him in a silver suit so tight you could see his balls?
And there’s nothing in the universe practical about those heels. Her core design was just so obviously someone’s masturbatory fantasy put on display to attract straight male viewers that I was uncomfortable as a young person, and I’m still more than a little uncomfortable now. (See also: Enterprise‘s Sex Vulcan — and boy, is that a show I’m not doing a Skip It/Watch It for. Or wait, here we go: just skip it.) Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank Stuff She Forgot About “Daria”
Dear Frank,
As a young lass, I’d always feel profoundly lonely when I would turn to television in search of a character to identify with and came up empty. I mean, as a white woman, things coulda been a lot worse for me. But when I was growing up, my hope for evidence that not fitting in wasn’t a terminal condition was filled with frustrations.
The one major exception: The animated series Daria, which ran from 1997 to 2001 and, even today, is a balm for my soul.
I like to think of Daria as MTV’s apology to women for that whole Beavis and Butthead thing: Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank About Our New Spoiler Warnings On Posts!
Dear Frank,
A fair note I’ve gotten over the last year or so (ever since the release of the first Liz Tells Frank eBook, actually) is that people — who are not you — worry about reading posts if they’re not already familiar with what I’m telling you about.
This is because they worry about spoilers. Personally, I very much understand this concern! I hate spoilers, if I’m not in the mood to be spoiled. Because being spoiled HE WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME is the worst.
If every Liz Tells Frank entry was like MoviePooper.com, that’d be fair. However, a common Liz Tells Frank misconception is that every entry is soaked in spoilers. Many are not!
Many are, in fact, specifically written to encourage humble readers who are not even you, Frank, to explore the subject matter. This includes the ever-popular Skip It/Watch It Guides — a much-appreciated public service (as far as my WordPress stats indicate).
Bearing all this in mind, a couple of weeks ago I enlisted the help of the vunderbar WordPress developer Joe Crawford to create a SPOILER WARNING system for every Liz Tells Frank installment, visible right at the top of every blog post! Look at the top of this very post you’re reading right now! Rad, am I right?!?
A quick guide to the parameters follows:
GREEN: Totally safe — which is honestly an indication that you should very much check out whatever’s being told. Because if I don’t want to ruin it for you or others, Frank, that’s a good sign.
YELLOW: Let’s do this metaphor-style — A few eggs get broken, but just a few eggs, enough to make a half-size omelette. You know, enough to whet someone’s appetite.
RED: You wanna know what happens? You’re gonna learn what happens. Because everyone seriously needs to know.
So, Liz Tells Frank now accommodates the world’s ever-present spoiler fears! Because it cares about your needs. It really does.
Even your needs, Frank. For realsies.
Love,
Liz
“Star Trek: Voyager” Season 3: The Skip It/Watch It Guide
Guys, if the marvelous Whitney Bishop is gonna keep telling you which episodes of “Star Trek: Voyager” to skip/watch, then I’m gonna keep publishing them. Enjoy! –Liz
It seems weird now that it’s pretty much the norm, but serialization is actually something that television — and Star Trek in particular — used to hate. The syndication model meant that shows had to be airable in whatever order the local broadcasters wanted to air them in, which didn’t lend well to embedded cumulative plots. Sure, there were certain shows that demanded strict continuity (see: Twin Peaks), but Star Trek series weren’t supposed to be among them. Deep Space Nine, in fact, got on the wrong side of its production company more than once when it made plotlines that stretched over several episodes. If you go read around on Memory Alpha, you see tons of instances where Voyager‘s cast and crew
alike make mention of this, usually grumbling all the way. Good for business, bad for art.
Season three is where the show’s lack of short-term memory really starts to show. Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In “World War Z” (The Movie, Mostly)
Dear Frank,
You and I have been through this already, the whole thing where I don’t love zombie stories as a rule. BUT! That rule has plenty of exceptions, including the times when those zombie stories go post-modern.
Which is to say that yes, Frank, I am one of those people who has read Max “Son of Mel” Brooks’s (wonderful!) World War Z. It’s a really cool book! I mean, I read it years ago, but I have noble intentions of rereading it soon, and appreciating its intelligence in approaching the idea of a zombie outbreak post-facto.
I have also read a draft of J.M. Stracynski’s attempt to turn Brooks’s book into a screenplay that would then become a movie. And I have read so many of the articles about how making this movie was a major kerfuffle.
::SARCASM VOICE:: Oh, you mean attempting an intellectual approach to a classically low-brow genre wasn’t warmly embraced by a major motion picture studio? I AM SHOCKED. ::END OF SARCASM VOICE::
My point is: I saw World War Z with the lowest of expectations… Read the rest of this entry
“Star Trek: Voyager” Season 2: The Skip It/Watch It Guide
Hey, did you ask Santa for more advice on avoiding the worst of “Star Trek: Voyager”? Only took him six months, but he’s finally delivering — in the form of Whitney Bishop. She’s already done Season 1 — now it’s time for Season 2! Enjoy. –Liz
One of the first problems with Voyager‘s second season is that… well, parts of it weren’t intended to be in the second season at all. The first four episodes were filmed to be part of the first season, but they got moved over and that weirds a lot of the timing.
So this season is bumpy from the get-go, and it doesn’t get much smoother as it goes along. Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In... 