Jeff Tells Liz What Happened In the “Top Model All Stars” FINALE
Well, Liz, this is it! Angelea! Lisa! Allison! ONLY ONE WILL WIN. Rum in hand, I face this, the end of all things.
Before we begin in earnest, let’s relive the opening credits for this cycle one last time. As I mentioned before, I kind of love them.
We open with each girl talking about how they should win in turn. Lisa says she’s overcome childhood abuse (news to me, explains a lot) and is in a good place. She thinks winning will be a great platform to sell her album (hopefully it includes her “Pot Ledom” single). She also wants to help her charity, which is for abused children. Well, that probably trumps the other two girls’ motives.
Angelea interviews about how she’s overcome her rough upbringing to make it this far. Allison interviews how she’s overcome her introversion. Preeeetty sure that of these three girls, Allison’s hurdle was the lowest to the ground. Although she did lose her father. Let’s not discount that. Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In “Speed 2: Cruise Control”
Dear Frank,
The other day, I was sitting on the couch finishing a sandwich and watching TV, and I ended up on a HBO channel playing The Blind Side, a movie I saw months ago and didn’t much care for.
Which is why I’m very confused about this: I watched the WHOLE DAMN MOVIE, Frank. Start to finish. The whole time, I was thinking, god, this movie is really bad, but Sandra Bullock is so good in it! Sandra Bullock has been very good in many bad movies! What is the deal with that?
And that’s how I ended up watching Speed 2: Cruise Control, Frank. Because I kinda wanted to see which was the worst Sandra Bullock film between the two, thinking at the time that there was no way Speed 2 could be as bad as I remembered. WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. Read the rest of this entry
Jeff Tells Liz What Happened In “Top Model All Stars” Ep 11
Liz, I know this is a day late. Last night I went to The Meltdown show where a certain former roommate of yours was performing, along with several other funny folks. The power went out so they had to steal electricity and light the stage with a construction floodlight. Plus, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles co-creator Kevin Eastman was there! I bet that night was way more fun that whatever I’m about to experience. I could be wrong, but those are long odds.
Only four girls left! In descending order of Jeff’s affections: Allison! Laura! Angelea! Lisa! Right off the bat Tyra promises that tonight we’ll see the “world premiere fashion film” based on Tyra’s NY Times best-selling novel, Modelland. Well that sounds like a nightmare right off the bat! I’m going to grab a beer, even though my dinner has not arrived yet. (Also, Liz, never ask me to tell you what happened in Modelland, unless you want an emergency termination of our friendship.) [BUT NOW I WANT TO KNOW. –Liz]
We open with Angelea reveling in Dominique’s dismissal. You will recall that Angelea hated Dominique but Dominique seemed completely unaware of it. You will also recall that Dominique said that Angelea was not strong enough to be a Top Model and Angelea’s rebuttal was to burst into tears and run from the room. Lisa thinks that Angelea’s last outburst is just one in a series of many to come. The producers certainly hope so! Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In “The Simpsons” Episode “The Book Job”
Dear Frank,
When was the last time you watched a new episode of The Simpsons? Yeah, same here — a long time! At this point, I would guess that I have only seen a third of the episodes produced to date, which doesn’t sound like a lot until you remember that there have been almost FIVE HUNDRED EPISODES of The Simpsons. That is a lot of episodes. Perhaps too many! Who’s to say.
But while you, me and most comedy snobs have abandoned the show at some point in the last decade, The Simpsons has continued to turn out episodes with a continually impressive roster of guest stars. Last season alone they had Cheech and Chong, Halle Berry, Hugh Laurie, Kareem Abdul-Jabar, a whole bunch of other people…
And this season, they had Neil Gaiman, which is what brings us together today. Frank, ostensibly I’m telling you about a recent Simpsons episode because revisiting the show this late into its run makes for an interesting intellectual exercise. But the real reason I’m writing this is that despite the fact that I’ve been a tremendous fan of his work for over a decade, Neil Gaiman has started annoying me over the last year or so, and I need to spend a thousand words or so working out why that is. Sorry, Frank. We’ll get through this together. Read the rest of this entry
Jeff Tells Liz What Happened In the “Top Model All Stars” Clip Show
Liz, it’s the clip show episode. There’s always a bit of new footage in here, so I’ll just give you a rundown of any interesting bits.
-During the first photo shoot, Sheena asked Lisa if she was a lesbian because Lisa could not stop staring at her.
-Isis had to answer a LOT of questions about her gender reassignment.
-Alexandria dreamed that this cycle would be different from her last one, where all the other girls hated her. Alexandria calls the other girls her “13 best friends”, because they are together 24/7. It’s like being in prison and declaring your cell mate to be your BFF. Do you get the feeling that Alexandria came back on this show not to win a competition, but just to prove that she can be likable? I’m getting that feeling. After Alexandria got into it with Bianca, Allison had a talk with her. In what seems like a wildly-out-of-context interview, Allison says “it’s like watching some strange car accident.” Allison admits that talking to Alexandria is hard, “I was just trying to be nice, but that doesn’t work here.” Allison knows the rules of Top Model prison. She’s like Morgan Freeman to Alexandria’s Tim Robbins. Read the rest of this entry
Lauren Tells Liz What Happened In “Hart of Dixie”
Guest post! Lauren Ludwig is a writer and TV watcher who likes movies about high school and weird old pictures of people. She regularly directs the comedy show Lost Moon Radio and helps out other writers in her work as a coach.
Hi Liz!
I don’t usually tell you things, but I have occasionally piped up when Frank has been telling you things. (You can see my child-like outbursts regarding the original Totoro dub track here.)
Since this is my first LTF post, let me start with some basic facts about me.
FACT #1: I love shows intended for teenagers.
FACT #2: Most shows intended for teenagers are terrible.
This does not mean I love terrible shows. It means I spend a lot of my time lamenting the fact that my favorite genre (if we can call teen-centric shows a genre — let’s!) is being run into the ground by CW executives that are more interested in playing dress-up that in storytelling. (I once heard that the Prez of the CW approves EVERY OUTFIT that goes on the air. How does she find the time to make good shows between all those outfits? She doesn’t!) Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In... 