Author Archives: Liz Shannon Miller
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In “The Mighty Ducks”
Dear Frank,
HOCKEY FEVER! Do you have it? Probably not, as you are an educated man of letters — not to imply that educated men of letters are immune from enjoying the spectacle of dudes on skates pounding the shit out of each other… What was I talking about again?
Ah, yes. HOCKEY FEVER! As I write this, Frank, the NHL is deep into playoff season, and because I have a surprising amount of friends who are super-into hockey, I have also been following along casually. (I am a fan of sports, but only on a very low-key level — I can only consume content on the regular when it comes in half hour or one hour chunks.)
My point is — HOCKEY FEVER! If you and others reading this are not hockey fans, I feel bad for you son, but I have two suggestions that might help you get back on board with the game:
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In the “Red Wedding” on “Game Of Thrones”
Dear Frank,
I’ve been trying, of late, to be a bit more conscious of how much profanity I use. I mean, I am after all a lady, and ladies don’t say things like “motherfucker” on a regular basis, best I’ve been lead to believe.
But any effort to reign in profanity is OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING TABLE this week, Frank. Because we have SERIOUSLY FUCKED-UP BUSINESS to discuss.
I told you about the Game of Thrones pilot, Frank, once upon a time, and since then the show has been a consistently exciting and entertaining presence on HBO’s schedule.
As Ben Wyatt (the closest thing to a dude version of me currently on network television) puts it in an episode of Parks and Recreation, “They would never cancel Game of Thrones. It’s a crossover hit! They’re telling human stories in a fantasy world.” Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank Stuff She Forgot About “Firefly”
Dear Frank,
It is weird, being here in the year 2013, and seeing what’s happened to Joss Whedon — see a man whose name was synonymous with “cult not-really-a-hit” no less than three years ago play puppet master with one of Hollywood’s biggest, most profitable franchises.
The Whedon-directed Avengers grossed all those billions! ABC picked up the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D TV show he’s executive producing! He signed up for Twitter and got over 100,000 followers in like no time! Frank, Joss Whedon is en fuego!
Which is why it’s fun to look back at Whedon during his slightly more humble days — you know, when he had only three shows on television at one time–
Hmmm. It’s fascinating, isn’t it Frank, how Joss Whedon always seems like an underdog? Even when he’s doing insane things like making millions of dollars off a web series?
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In “The Day After Tomorrow”
Dear Frank,
When my brother and I were growing up, we LOVED the movie Independence Day, directed by Roland Emmerich. LOVED it. We had it on VHS, and we would just watch it over and over again, chanting along with our favorite lines of dialogue — we could even re-enact Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum’s final escape from the alien ship word for word, one of us taking Will Smith’s lines and the other playing Jeff Goldblum. (I forget who would play which more. I think, because I was a nice older sister, I let him be Will Smith the most.)
Then, you know, things happened and watching buildings explode stopped being fun for a few years — however, Roland Emmerich appears to have never lost his taste for ending the world. Which would be fine, except for this one time when, to destroy destroy the planet (especially Los Angeles), he fucked up a real disaster instead of using a fictional one.
The Day After Tomorrow is one of the stupider movies I’ve ever seen, Frank (and remember that time I watched Zardoz?). This is largely because it takes the issue of climate change and instead of raising real awareness about how badly we’re fucking up the planet, makes it seem as real as a giant lizard that breathes fire.
Seriously, Roland Emmerich fucks up global warming worse than he fucked up Godzilla. And GODDAMN, did he fuck up Godzilla. Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In “Transmetropolitan”
Dear Frank,
So the first time I read Transmetropolitan, I was visiting Whitney, one of my oldest friends, in New Jersey. It was 2005, I was on a very random cross-country trip, and Whitney had a day job, and so spending the better part of 48 hours reading her trade paperbacks made sense.
Then, Transmetropolitan BROKE MY BRAIN.
By which I mean I loved it. Even though it BROKE MY BRAIN. And gave me nightmares. And did…
It did some other things, Frank. They mostly involve shouting. I shall explain.
Transmet, as it’s conventionally know, is writer Warren Ellis and artist Darick Robertson’s magnum opus for Vertigo Comics, a five year odyssey through an imagined future where genetics are easily manipulated, technology is something you swallow as pills, and we just call New York City “The City.”
If you read it in less than two days on a futon in New Jersey, it’s really intense. If you reread it in two weeks on an actual bed in Los Angeles… Actually still really intense. Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In The “Lost Girl” Pilot
Dear Frank,
For a while now, I’ve been hearing that I should check out Lost Girl, a Canadian fantasy import featuring sexy people, makeouts and magic. I normally am not a straight-up fantasy fan (due to the lack of space battles) but the voices called out, Frank. They demanded that you know about Lost Girl. And who am I to deny them?
Thus, fade in on a girl– Ugh, Frank, I’ve been watching too much Smash. Point is, meet Bo! She is a bartender, and she is hot, and while working she manages to dodge a creep who tries to force a roofied drink on her.
However, said creep then targets a sassy pickpocketing teen at the bar, cornering her in an elevator just as the roofie kicks in. Uh oh! Things do not look good for our sassy pickpocketing teen!
Until, of course, Bo shows up! Read the rest of this entry
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In... 